As You Are Counselling – Warwick, Perth WA
The perinatal period can be one of the most emotionally complex, confronting, and misunderstood experiences. The perinatal phase spans from conception through to a child reaching around three years of age, and within this time, many of us mothers experience significant changes – not just physically, but hormonally, emotionally, relationally, and psychologically.
For some of us, this period is experienced with joy and ease. For many others, it feels confusing, exhausting, lonely, and nothing like what was expected. And for a significant number, this is when anxiety and depression emerge or intensify.
If this resonates, I want you to know this straight away:
There is nothing wrong with you.
The Unexpected Experience of Motherhood
The perinatal period has been described as “the unexpected experience of motherhood.”
Despite preparation, books, classes, and well‑intentioned advice, we can often feel unprepared for the internal shifts that occur.
During this time, you will navigate multiple losses alongside new beginnings, including:
- Changes to your body and physical identity
- Shifts in relationships and intimacy
- Pauses or disruptions to career and independence
- Loss of a previous sense of self
- Grief for “who I was” before motherhood
- Uncertainty about the future
These losses are rarely acknowledged – yet they matter deeply.
Adding to this complexity are hormonal fluctuations, sleep deprivation, environmental stressors, and the pressure to “enjoy every moment.” These factors create fertile ground for mental health challenges, particularly anxiety and depression.
Perinatal Anxiety: More Common Than We Talk About
Perinatal anxiety is actually more common than perinatal depression, yet it is often less recognised.
Common experiences of perinatal anxiety include:
- Feeling constantly restless, tense, or on edge
- A racing or intrusive mind that won’t switch off
- Feeling nauseous or unsettled in the body
- Difficulty relaxing or sleeping, even when exhausted
- A persistent sense of dread or fear something bad will happen
Many of us may also report heightened self‑criticism, unrealistic expectations of ourselves, increased worry about being a “good enough” mother, and intense fear of being judged.
These experiences are understandable responses to a significant life transition occurring under immense pressure.
Perinatal Depression: More Than “Baby Blues”
Perinatal depression is sometimes minimised with phrases like “it’s just baby blues.” This can feel invalidating and silencing, especially when you are struggling deeply.
Symptoms of perinatal depression may include:
- Persistent low mood or emotional numbness
- Loss of interest or pleasure in previously enjoyable activities
- Feelings of inadequacy, failure, or hopelessness
- Overwhelming guilt and shame
- Sleeping excessively or having difficulty sleeping
- Low energy, motivation, and concentration
- Thoughts of death or suicide
Many women describe profound disappointment between the reality of motherhood and what they imagined. You may struggle with bonding, breastfeeding, identity shifts, physical changes, and a deep sense of loss – all while believing you should be grateful.
This is often compounded by disenfranchised responses from others — when distress is downplayed, dismissed, or misunderstood.
Self‑Compassion as a Pathway to Healing
This is where self‑compassionate motherhood becomes essential – not optional.
Self‑compassion involves:
- Noticing suffering with kindness
- Responding with care instead of criticism
- Recognising that struggle is part of shared humanity
In the perinatal period, self‑compassion may look like:
- Softening unrealistic expectations
- Naming grief and loss without judgment
- Allowing rest without guilt
- Speaking to yourself as you would a close friend
- Accepting that motherhood is learned, not always instinctual
A self‑compassionate motherhood model recognises that you are human first, not a machine designed for endless giving. It acknowledges that care must flow in both directions – to your baby and to you.
Meeting You Where You Are
Every mother’s experience of the perinatal period is unique. There is no single “right” way to navigate it – and no universal solution.
What matters is that support:
- Meets you where you are
- Considers what is realistic and practical for your life
- Acknowledges barriers such as time, fatigue, and support
- Honours your pace, capacity, and emotional readiness
At, As You Are Counselling – Perth, my approach is grounded in this belief. I don’t rush, fix, or judge. Together, we explore gently — integrating emotional regulation, self‑compassion, and understanding of your story.
A Last Gentle Reminder
If you are in the perinatal period and feeling anxious, low, lost, or disconnected – please know this:
You are not failing at motherhood.
You are not too sensitive.
You are not alone.
You are navigating one of life’s most profound transitions – often without enough support, rest, or understanding.
And you deserve care.
If you’re ready, or even just curious, support is here – as you are.
Support is available in Esther’s counselling work at As You Are Counselling — Warwick, Perth WA.
Related Support at As You Are Counselling
• Perinatal & Pregnancy Counselling
• Anxiety Counselling
• Individual Counselling
• Online Counselling
• Meet Our Team
