Most men who eventually see a counsellor will tell you the same thing: they waited too long.
Not because they didn’t know something was wrong. Not because they didn’t want things to be different. But because somewhere between recognising the problem and picking up the phone, something got in the way.
This post is about what that something usually is — and why more men in Perth’s northern suburbs and across Australia are starting to push past it.
The Honest Picture
Men in Australia are struggling in significant numbers. The statistics around male mental health, suicide, and help-seeking are well documented and confronting. Australian men die by suicide at nearly three times the rate of women. Men are significantly less likely to seek professional mental health support than women. And when they do reach out, it’s often later — when things have already become harder to manage.
This isn’t a character flaw. It’s the predictable outcome of a set of messages that many men have received, absorbed, and lived by — often without ever consciously choosing to.
Why Men Don’t Go — The Real Reasons
1. They Were Taught That Struggling Means Weakness
From early in life, many men receive consistent messaging — direct and indirect — that emotional struggle is something to overcome privately, not share openly. That needing help is a form of weakness. That the right response to difficulty is to push through, man up, and keep going.
These messages don’t disappear in adulthood. They become the internal voice that says “you should be able to handle this” every time things get hard.
Counselling, by its nature, requires acknowledging that things aren’t okay. For men who have spent years equating that acknowledgement with failure, the barrier isn’t just practical. It’s identity-level.
2. They Don’t Know What Counselling Actually Is
A significant number of men who are resistant to counselling have never actually experienced it. Their mental image of what happens in a counselling room is often built from cultural references — lying on a couch, being analysed, crying while someone nods and says “and how does that make you feel?”
That’s not what counselling is. At least not good counselling.
Good counselling — particularly with a counsellor who understands how men tend to process and communicate — is practical, collaborative, and grounded. It’s a conversation. It’s someone helping you make sense of what’s happening, identify what’s getting in the way, and think through what you actually want to do about it.
Many men who were resistant to counselling find, once they’re in the room, that it’s nothing like they expected — and that it’s genuinely useful.
3. Asking for Help Feels Like Losing Control
For many men, maintaining a sense of competence and control is deeply important — not out of ego, but out of a genuine sense of responsibility. They are the person others rely on. The one who holds things together. The one who fixes problems.
Asking for help can feel like an admission that they can’t do that anymore. Like they’re letting people down by not being able to manage on their own.
What’s worth naming here is that reaching out is actually the opposite of losing control. It’s a deliberate, considered decision to take the situation seriously and do something about it. That’s not weakness. That’s exactly the kind of clear-headed problem-solving that most men pride themselves on.
4. They’re Not Sure Their Problem Is “Bad Enough”
A lot of men minimise what they’re experiencing. They compare themselves to people who have it worse. They tell themselves that what they’re feeling doesn’t warrant professional support — that it’s not serious enough, not clinical enough, not a real problem.
The threshold many men set for seeking help is remarkably high. They’ll wait until relationships are breaking down, until work is suffering, until they haven’t slept properly in months — and even then, they’ll question whether it’s bad enough.
Here’s a more useful question: is it affecting your life? Your relationships? Your sense of yourself? If the answer is yes — it’s enough.
5. They Don’t Know Where to Start
Even when a man decides he wants to speak to someone, the practical question of where and how can be a genuine barrier. Navigating the mental health system, understanding the difference between a counsellor, psychologist, and psychiatrist, working out what a GP referral involves, finding someone local with availability that works around work and family — it’s a lot.
Many men get as far as thinking “I should probably talk to someone” and then stall at the logistics.
What’s Starting to Change
The conversation around men’s mental health has shifted meaningfully in recent years. Movements like R U OK?, Movember, and the broader cultural conversation about male wellbeing have begun to normalise the idea that men struggle, that struggle is not weakness, and that asking for help is a reasonable and courageous thing to do.
More men are seeking counselling than ever before. And the men who do — particularly those who find a counsellor they genuinely connect with — often describe it as one of the most useful things they’ve done.
Not because it fixed everything overnight. But because having a space where they could actually say what was going on — without filtering, without performing, without managing how they came across — turned out to matter more than they expected.
What Counselling with Brendan Actually Looks Like
Brendan English is a registered counsellor based in Warwick, Perth’s northern suburbs. He works with men navigating anxiety, stress, burnout, relationship challenges, career transitions, fatherhood, and the kind of low-level pressure that builds quietly over time until it becomes hard to ignore.
Brendan brings something to this work that no qualification can provide — lived experience. He has navigated military service, the pressure of significant career transitions, the complexity of relationships, and the profound shift of becoming a father. He knows what it feels like to be a man who is used to coping and finds himself in territory where coping isn’t enough.
His approach is direct, practical, and grounded. Sessions aren’t about being pushed to emote or analyse your childhood. They’re about making sense of what’s happening, understanding what’s getting in the way, and working out what you actually want to do differently.
Most men who work with Brendan describe the experience as feeling more like a honest, purposeful conversation than anything they expected counselling to be.
What to Expect in a First Session
If you’ve never been to counselling before, knowing what to expect can help lower the barrier to walking through the door.
A first session with Brendan is straightforward. He’ll ask you what’s been going on — in your own words, at your own pace. There’s no agenda, no pressure to arrive with a clear problem statement, and no expectation that you’ll have it all figured out.
You don’t need to know exactly what’s wrong. You don’t need to be in crisis. You just need to show up.
The first session is also a chance for you to assess whether counselling — and whether Brendan specifically — feels like a good fit. You’re not committing to anything beyond the conversation in front of you.
Common Things Men Bring to Counselling
In case you’re wondering whether what you’re dealing with is the kind of thing people actually talk about in counselling — here are some of the things men commonly bring to sessions:
- Stress and pressure that doesn’t seem to switch off
- Burnout — feeling depleted and unable to recover
- Anxiety — worry, overthinking, or a sense of dread that won’t settle
- Relationship difficulties — communication breakdowns, conflict, disconnection
- Fatherhood — the pressure, the identity shift, the fear of getting it wrong
- Career transitions — redundancy, direction changes, the loss of identity tied to work
- Grief — bereavement, relationship loss, or the loss of a version of life you expected
- Life transitions — major changes that have left you unsure of who you are or where you’re headed
- Military to civilian transition — the specific and often underacknowledged complexity of leaving service
- A general sense that something is off — without being able to name exactly what
If any of that sounds familiar — that’s enough of a reason to reach out.
Men’s Counselling in Warwick, Perth’s Northern Suburbs
As You Are Counselling is based in Warwick WA 6024, in Perth’s northern suburbs. Brendan offers in-person sessions at the Wellness Zone and online appointments for men across Australia.
Evening and Saturday appointments are available — including sessions before and after standard work hours — making it easier to access support without it affecting work or family commitments.
Sessions are confidential. No GP referral required. No Mental Health Care Plan needed.
Accessible for men from Greenwood, Kingsley, Duncraig, Hamersley, Padbury, Woodvale, Hillarys, Joondalup, Craigie, Edgewater, Beldon, Ocean Reef, and surrounding Perth northern suburbs.
Book a Session with Brendan | Free 15-Min Fit & Next-Steps Call
You don’t have to have it all figured out before you reach out. You just have to decide it’s worth a conversation.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need a referral to see a counsellor in Perth? No. You can book directly with As You Are Counselling without a GP referral or Mental Health Care Plan. View our fees and FAQ here.
What’s the difference between a counsellor and a psychologist? Both support mental health and wellbeing, but they differ in training, scope, and approach. Psychologists have a higher level of clinical training and can diagnose mental health conditions. Counsellors are trained to provide therapeutic support for a wide range of emotional, relational, and life challenges. For many people — particularly those dealing with stress, anxiety, burnout, relationships, and life transitions — counselling is an effective and accessible option.
Is what I’m dealing with serious enough for counselling? If it’s affecting your life, your relationships, or your sense of yourself — it’s serious enough. You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from having a space to talk.
Will it stay confidential? Yes. Counselling is confidential. There are limited exceptions — for example if there is a serious risk of harm — but these are clearly explained before you begin. What you share in sessions stays between you and your counsellor.
What if I try it and it’s not for me? That’s okay. Not every counsellor is the right fit for every person. Brendan offers a free 15-minute call before your first session so you can get a sense of whether it feels right before committing to anything.
As You Are Counselling · Warwick WA 6024 · Perth’s Northern Suburbs · Men’s Counselling · In-Person & Online
